Clear the Roads---I'm DRIVING!!!

And the roads are so much wider now that I've started using front lawns and sidewalks as well.

Yep, I've turned a corner.  It's been nearly a week now that I've been able to stand and walk around without feeling faint.  This is good.  I still can't sit in a chair but yesterday I tried driving and I found that sitting in the driver's seat was way easier than sitting in a chair.  I can support a lot of my weight with my thighs and my right arm on the arm console.  It's pretty much perfect although I haven't gone beyond Orleans.  A long driving trip for me might be to drive into Ottawa and we ain't ready for that yet.

I also tied my own shoes just today.  It was a bit of a stretch but Erinn wasn't around to tie my shoes.  What was I to do?  Thankfully, she had already put my socks on for me that morning. 

The walking has become easier and, due to time constraints, I'm only doing one 2-3 km walk.  That's plenty.  My bowels are working fine now (I had about four rough days after the sleepless popcorn night) and I'm getting used to things.  I've started introducing whole wheat bread and so far no pain.  I eat an orange every morning and I may venture into more fresh fruit territory soon.  Although, I'm cautious.  Everything I ate after the popcorn caused me a lot of pain so I don't want to overload on fruit right away but I sure miss it.  As a vegetarian, I've become pretty sick of white bread and eggs. 

For Father's Day, I hope to be able to sit in a chair.



My in-laws were over last week to open our pool.  It was greatly appreciated.  Just in one week my
mobility has greatly improved.  I still can't lift anything but I can walk without fainting.
We've had sunny days but I won't turn on the pool heater until our overnight lows are in double digits.
Of course, that didn't slow down Kate and Maggie who each took turns running down the steps
up to their shoulders in 59F (15C) water and then shrieking about how cold it was.
This weekend looks great.  Time to fire up the heat!



Happy Mother's Day

It's been four weeks since I had the surgery and I'm definitely feeling much better.  Now I understand what the surgeon meant when he said it'll take 3 months to heal up from it.  I still can't put my own socks on or tie my shoes but now, with the nicer weather, I skip the socks and I can do up the velcro on my sandals so I'm pretty much self-sufficient.  I still can't sit which also means I can't drive but maybe we'll have some progress on that in the next couple of weeks.

Last week my JP Drain was removed as were the sutures on my backside.  What a relief.  I feel more human.  Just having the JP Drain removed was a blessing.  Plus, two days ago was the first time I was able to walk around without feeling faint or light-headed.  I may have turned a corner. 

I've also stopped losing weight.  I've lost 14 lbs in the last four weeks.  I'd be happier if it was 20 lbs but I was feeling pretty faint so I'm just as happy to stop here.

I got a voicemail that my chemo will start May 23rd.  I'll go into the hospital and they'll inject me for hours then hook me up to a bottle.  I'll wear the bottle for 48 hrs at a time in two week rotations.  I understand it'll tire me out for one week out of every two weeks but I hope that one week of tiring me out is really only 4 days.  That'll mean 10 days of feeling okay.  The chemo is only 8 treatments (4 months) so I should wrap up around Sept 1st, barring any illness or a low white blood cell count.  I'd be pretty lucky if I was healthy on those counts so I expect the chemo might not end as per that schedule.   It may get bumped out a few weeks.




Erinn took us to M&M Meat Shop yesterday for their annual Crohn's and Colitis fundraiser BBQ. 
100% of all money collected (collected, not raised) goes to fight Crohn's.  Our dear friend
Shannon has suffered from Crohn's since she was a teenager. 
Hey, they even had veggie burgers and veggie dogs!
http://www.mmmeatshops.com/en/aboutmm/donations.asp



The kids are waiting downstairs with gifts for mommy.  I think they understood not to wake Mommy this morning.

It's 11 am and Erinn is still sleeping.  I'd say I've done well on giving her what she wants this Mother's Day.

P.S.  Today is also our 17th wedding anniversary.  We did nothing to celebrate it but we had a fantastic day in the backyard in the sun with the kids.  Nice, warm 24 C day. 

Surgery Cancer Results

I got some good news yesterday.  We had two medical appointments which made it the busiest day of my life since I got out of the hospital nearly two weeks ago.  In the morning, we saw Dr. Goodwin, my chemo oncologist.  She let us know that the pathology reports from the surgery showed no cancer remaining in the parts that were removed from me.  That's good news as it puts my survival rate at 85 to 88%. 

When I was in the hospital, my surgeon visited me daily (including weekends) and I was asking him about this pathology report.  I asked if the report came back all clear, would my chemo plan change to something much lighter?  He explained that because I was young and healthy, I would get hammered as hard as they could to kill any potential stray cancer cells without killing me.  Oh yay.

To bump up my success rate even more, I will be going on the chemo bottle for a couple of days in a row in two week rotations.   It will be Folfax and it's much more potent than the pills I was taking in January and February (Xeloda).  I will have a PICC line inserted into my bicep again to feed the chemicals to my heart (it stops about 1 cm shy of the heart) for distribution.  As noted before, the PICC line is necessary since these chemicals destroy veins.  They get dumped adjacent the heart from the PICC line where they are diluted in a lot of blood and the heart immediately distributes the Folfax throughout my body. 

All this is done to increase my survival rate by another 2 to 3%.

The drawback is the side effects.  Many side effects are temporary but some are permanent.  I see death listed.  I'm going to ask if that's a temporary side effect.

Death by Popcorn.  I'm on a low residue diet which means no fresh fruit, no whole wheat and no fibre. 

The night before my appointments, a friend came over and he brought some snacks.  I didn't realize popcorn

was full of fibre.  I probably ate 1/4 of the bag.  Well, a few hours later, I stayed awake in bed as my bowels did

painful sommersaults.  It was agonizing and I only slept about three hours all night.  For my morning appointment, I asked for a hospital bed and I writhed in pain during half the debrief from the chemo doctor as my bowels passed the last of the popcorn.  Ugghhh...

The good news is a lot of these side effects appear in the 5 to 6 month treatment time period so they're going to stop me at 4 months.  I like the shorter 4 month time period even if it will make be bedridden in two week rotations instead of 3 week rotations.  I'll take 4 months and the possibility of minimal side effects any day. 

Another side effect I'm worried about is losing feeling in my hands and feet.  This temporary side effect can also be permanent and I know one person who has suffered this.  My surgeon yesterday afternoon also relayed the info about one of his patients a couple of years ago who also suffered from this and it shattered him.  He was a National Arts Centre pianist.  I'm sensitive to this as I still don't have restored feeling in my left fingers.  They're only about 90% restored from the surgery and it feels really weird.  My surgeon says the feeling will come back but it may take another month.

In the afternoon we had a followup with my surgeon, Dr. Weaver.  I had to lie on a couch outside the elevators while Erinn waited half an hour in the waiting room for our appointment.  It's tough when I can't sit anywhere and standing is not very relaxing.  Plus, I was feeling faint and weak all day yesterday due to a flirtation with popcorn torture.

My surgeon is happy with my healing and tells me the JP Drain can come out next week.  Great!!!!  I get the sutures out of my backside next week by the home care nurses and the drain will follow.  It'll be a great week next week.  Another week or so after that, I'll start my chemo treatments.  May the games begin!!!

Jackson-Pratt Drain

I still wear the Jackson-Pratt (JP) Drain.  Another weird medical thing.  I keep it tucked inside my Hugh Hefner leisure pants so the kids won't see it.  I thought the hose entered my pelvis through the incision but it took me a whole week to work up the nerve to actually look south of my belly button.  I see they drilled another hole through my abdomen and the hose enters my pelvis a few inches to the side of the incision.  Yuck.



I'll be done with the JP Drain when it starts collecting 30ml
or less of waste fluid per day.  So far, I'm double that.  Maybe
only two more weeks and I won't need it anymore.  Fingers crossed.

I lost another four pounds this week while at home.  That's surprising cause I no longer exercise.  I can stand so I still walk twice a day and I guess that's pushing it because I'm faint when I walk and I have to lie down when I get back.  Maybe that's exercise in itself after big surgery like this but it sure isn't anything that would burn any calories.  I definitely have noticed that my legs and arms have shrunk dramatically and so have my love handles. 

I think I'm losing weight because I'm eating less.  In the hospital, I got recalibrated on portion control.  When I graduated from ice chips and jello, I was fascinated with the meals I got.  They were small but all measured and itemized on the menu receipt that came with the meal.  250 ml of tomato soup, two crackers, one pepper packet, 125 ml of milk, etc.  I thought the meals were small but it took me 90 minutes to eat one.  I remember reading in a National Geographic how our portions in North America have strayed from the standard.  A steak should be the size of a deck of cards.  One serving of fruit is the size of a baseball.  Wow, try and open a restaurant based on those standards and you'd be out of business in a year!

I'm down 10 lbs since the surgery but that's just getting rid of the fattening up I did to prepare for chemo and radiation.  Also, surgery sliced 5 lbs out of me.  Funny, I bulked up for chemo and radiation but I didn't lose a single pound during that period.  Now, I'm just my usual 10 lbs overweight instead of 20 lbs.  I'll try and lose another 10 lbs. 

I still feel stronger every day.  I mark that by how easy it is to get out of bed and get off the couch/lazy-boy.  I still can't sit so I spend a lot of time reading or watching TV or playing Playstation.  Pretty sedentary lifestyle.  I look forward to sitting so I can be on the computer without kneeling on the floor.  It's funny, when I get off the lazy-boy and walk upstairs or to the next room, I almost always have a headrush and then I think that maybe I'm spending too much time laying down.

I also look forward to when I can tie my own shoes.  Right now Erinn has to put my socks on me and tie my shoes for my walks.  Before the surgery, I could touch my hands flat on the floor.  It's amazing how abdominal slicing changes things.  I was also told I can't do dishes or load the dishwasher due to twisting motions.  And I can't lift or sit so folding laundry is out too.  I can watch TV,  read and ask Erinn to do things for me.  She's a trooper.  She does everything for me and serves me my meals on the couch.  What a saint!  I'd buy her something for Mother's Day but she hasn't given me any money and I can't go anywhere that I can't walk to.  Oh well, next time...

How Did The Mathematician Deal With His Constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

Thankfully, no mathematicians required.  Things started moving properly on their own around 7pm last night.  That's eight days after starting to eat solid food and eleven days after surgery.  All in due time...

This surgery was much more difficult than I thought.  I knew it was major surgery but I didn't realize just how major.  Erinn has had both of our kids by C-Section and she says I got it way worse than her.  Fair enough, I had a baby by C-Section and then they rearranged my guts.  It actually feels like they put a cinder block in my pelvis area between my two hips.  That's just how strange and heavy everything feels.  Of course, it's not as clean as a concrete cinder block with all the blood, gauze and hoses still hanging out of that area.  Plus, in the middle of my pelvis, I'm still numb from the slicing.  Erinn recalls that taking a couple of weeks to thaw from when she had a C-Section.  Can't wait for those nerves to regrow.

This morning the nurse came by and said my incision looks great and she tore off the dressing for the last time.  No more dressing.  Every two days I've had a dressing change over my main incision and tape on skin always hurts but tape on skin in the pelvic area is particularly sensitive.  The dressing was about 10 inches long by 5 inches wide from my belly button on down.  Glad that's done now.  Just a smaller dressing around the JP Drain and that stupid hose and bottle coming out of my pelvis to collect my waste fluid from inside my body.

I feel stronger every day.  I still can't sit but right now I'm kneeling at the desk to type this.  Not the most relaxing position but there's a lot more carpet at home than at the hospital.  Lazy-boy reclining is still good and getting in and out of the lazy-boy has gotten much easier. 

I may not be able to sit but I can walk.  I walk 4 to 5 kms each day.  I've been walking to the Ottawa River recently so I do that once in the morning and once in the afternoon.  I feel very light-headed when I get home so it's nap time but at least I'm able to do it.

I can't touch my shoes.  Erinn puts my shoes on and ties them for
me and, dressed like a Walmart shopper,  I go walking, rain or shine.
The weather hasn't been good lately but I don't care.  I still feel
groggy from the meds I was on (no painkillers for me in 1 week)
and I know when I'm feeling better, the sun will come out.

Morphine Bungs You Up

And I'm really going to start drinking LOTS of water to loosen things up.  Still no bowel movement.  Oh well, what can you do?

I'm so happy to be home.  Erinn had a tough time while I was in the hospital.  Our five year old, Kate, caught a stomach virus at school and just as she got better, our three year old, Maggie, caught it.  I came home the next day.  I thought it best to sequester myself in the basement away from the kids while I healed on the lazy-boy.  Brilliant plan.  I can also take a break by kneeling on the carpeted floor in the basement.  So good to be back in front of my TV and watching what I want on the PVR.  Lotsa racing to catch up on and lotsa racing to watch this weekend.

I cannot sit.  Doctor's Orders are not to sit for more than 5 minutes at a time.  No problem.  I can't even sit for 5 seconds.  If my ass could take it, my torso couldn't hold me up.  I was pretty sure I might be able to flop out at home in the lazy-boy, though.  And, yes, I can so long as I'm in the fully reclined position.  The next day Erinn made my life easier and got me bendable straws!  Small pleasures.

I walked with Erinn to the end of the block and back on Friday afternoon.  The next morning I walked all the way around the block and in the afternoon I did two laps.  All involve a lie-down afterwards.  This morning I quadrupled that distance by walking 1.2 kms to my parents' house.  I laid down on their lazy-boy before I walked home.  When I got home, back in the basement on the lazy-boy I went and Erinn brought me my lunch.  She's so good to me.  My parents are about 100 metres from the river so I'm sure in a few days I'll be walking all the way to the river.  I'll just have to bring a leather lazy-boy...

The nurse came by this morning and removed my 23 staples from the belly-button on down.  That's great.  Small progress.  What remains below are sutures, a Jackson-Pratt (JP) drain and the colostomy, which is permanent.  My pelvic area is still numb from the epidural.  That may last another week or two.  It feels weird.  A nurse will come by every Tuesday and Friday for the next few weeks.

The JP drain is weird.  I did a quick search on the internet to see when it originated but I couldn't find anything.  I'm guessing the late 1800's because that's how primitive it is.  It's a rubber ball with a clear hose on it.  The hose goes right inside my front pelvic area and drains the waste fluid from my wound inside my body.  When I'm draining less than 30 ml per day, I can remove the drain.  That may take another 3 weeks.  So far, I'm still draining 100 ml of waste fluid a day.  It looks like diluted blood.  How do they learn to come up with things like this?  "Well, he lived past the surgery for two weeks.  I wonder what killed him?"






That's me a couple of years ago.  I can't imagine bending my legs like that anymore.  One of the big carrots for getting home this weekend was to catch up on the motorcycle racing that I missed last weekend and watch more racing.  This is a big weekend.  Supercross in Seattle, AMA road racing in Atlanta and World Superbike in Assen, Holland.  I'll be cheering for Canadian Brett McCormick in World Superbike.  Brett, from Saskatoon, put TEAM SHOULDERCHECK rider Alan Burns and myself down one lap quite nicely at the Mosport Nationals a few years ago.  Then he went Pro and continued to decimate the field.  Good luck on the world stage, Brett!!!



Day 9: Jailbreak

The hospital, as lovely a place as it is, was really wearing on me the last four days.  I couldn't leave until I had a bowel movement.  I had gone into the hospital being told it was 7 days but I thought I could accelerate that to 6.  When I still couldn't walk after Day 4, I realized 7 days wouldn't be so bad.  Now I was walking everywhere but I had yet to have a bowel movement.

Daddy and Maggie.  Home after eight full days in the hospital.
Barely started the 9th day.

When my surgeon came in to see me again at 8am, he was discussing how important he felt it was for me to have a bowel movement before I left the hospital.  I saw another escape window closing so I cleverly changed the path of the conversation.

"I'm leaving in an hour.  What kind of prescriptions do I need?  I promise to pray to the bowel movement gods at home."