Chemo DUN!!!!!

I'm posing with Kate and Maggie all bundled up for Halloween.

Ahh, I just took my last chemo pills this morning.  I had asked the doctor if I could delay my last chemo by one week in an attempt to delay the side effects and the good Doctor Goodwin agreed (not to be confused with 7 time MotoGP motorcycle champion Valentino Rossi, simply known as THE Doctor).  It has worked. And, now that my chemo is done, my feet are just now starting to get sore.  Who cares, I'm done!

The last few weeks have gone well enough.  Before the weather cooled, I had a couple of weeks of pedalling 20 kms in the morning three times a week.  I've now moved indoors and I'm keeping up the cardio on the elliptical in the basement.  I'm afraid to try any weights as I'm overly cautious about ripping open my abdomen since I already have a hole in it.  That's what a hernia is and I have a large version.  The stoma nurses cautioned me on that so I have clear images of things going bad.  However, I'm going to start the weights soon at a  gentle pace cause it looks like next summer is my chance to finally start wakeboarding at the cottage.  My dad just bought a used powerboat and it came with a wakeboard and tubes for the kids.  Time to go back to waterskiing and finally try wakeboarding!

Sure, Katie's excited for dirt biking next summer but Maggie's really wound up!!

Nearing the End

I'm into my week off between pills.  On Wednesday, I'll start my last round of chemo pills.  This lowered dose got off to a good start.  I felt okay on Chemo 6 but the day after Chemo 6 ended I started feeling side effects.  I couldn't walk due to chemo pain in my feet.

And, oddly enough, I had bad effects near the end of my 14 days of pills on Chemo 7.  In fact, it continued for a few days after I stopped the chemo.  We had a great fall weekend at the cottage and I winterized it but the pain in my feet was so bad on the Sunday that I had to, once again, watch Erinn do all the cleaning and packing up while I lounged on the couch with my feet elevated.  I was okay to drive home but I couldn't walk or stand up once home so Erinn unpacked the car and put the kids to bed while I watched TV.  Hmm...maybe a sign of our life to come.  Except for the blazing pain in my feet, I could live with it.  Maybe I'll be faking it in the months and years ahead.

So, on Wednesday I see two doctors and I also have a Back to Work plan to get their approval on.  Funny, I haven't been harassed by my disability agent.  In fact, quite the opposite.  She ignores me.  I have called her about nine times in the last two weeks and I left about six messages for her to call me back.  By message three I just became verbose and spelled out my whole story since May about chemo problems and in subsequent messages I outlined when I want to go back to work and how long the transition to full time should be.  She finally e-mailed me the plan a few days ago.  I shouldn't be surprised.  She's only called me twice since January and I've left her about fifteen voicemails that she never responds to.  But now I finally have her e-mail address.  She still hasn't replied to my written questions but whatever.  Life will go on.  I guess I'm not the taxi driver with a sore neck on disability. 

Last night I was up till 4am with diarrhea.  Again.  I feel hung over this morning due to the lack of sleep.  It usually happens about once a week because of the chemo.  Last night there wasn't so much pain but usually when it happens, such as last week when I was sleeping peacefully, I get jarred awake by a searing, burning pain on my stomach.  Yes, ON my stomach.  Diarrhea often burns my skin so as it exits through my stoma I get an acid burn and it hurts like a motherf$#@&r.  I know diarrhea will be pretty rare once I'm done chemo but for now it's been pretty much every week since I started in May.  Half a year of fun.

What do you do when the KLR won't run?  Take the VFR.  I had planned on riding the K&P Trail near Calabogie all summer with a friend but my health sucked.  My feet were still in bad pain from the chemo but I was determined to go.  I took two Tylenols and headed out.  It actually ended up being a great day and sitting on the bike was fine.  Getting up and walking around hurt.  See Mom, motorcycles can be good for you!

Gerry demonstrates how to ride this without gravel tires or chemo pills.

Gerry and I did the K&P Trail just a few days ago.  As we left Ottawa, we stopped in to see a friend.  This shop owner used to sponsor me for motorcycle road racing for many years but I haven't seen him at all in my cancer year.  His healthy wife had a stroke.  They're both my age.  About 40 years old and fit with two young kids.  She just happened to walk out of the house when we were chatting with her husband.  It was great to see them both and she's on the mend.  She just got her driver's license back a few weeks ago.    Strange how things can show up and throw curve balls into life.

Homeward Bound!

Things have been good the last two weeks.  Yesterday I had an appointment with my Chemo doctor and she confirmed that I'll just stay on this lowered dose of Xeloda for my last two treatments.  This morning I downed the pills for the start of Chemo 7.  I took them on my bicycle ride as I picked them up at Shopper's Drug Mart on the start of a 20 km pedal this morning.  It felt good to be out as I've been lazy and not exercising but I vow to change that despite the cold, windy pedal this morning.  I can do that more often and I'll try for every second day now that my hands and feet don't hurt so much from the chemo.

So now, I have just over a month and a half left then I have to recover for a few weeks before I get booster shots to return to work.  I'm looking forward to returning to work part time and I hope it's in mid to late November.

The new normal is becoming okay.  I've been wearing slippers in the house all summer to make it softer on my painful feet.  I know the pain and numbness in my feet and hands will be a thing of the past once I stop the chemo and dealing with my colostomy has been frustrating at times but, on the whole, it's easy to forget I have one.  I just wish I didn't have one.  That's a permanent souvenir of this cancer but in view of the fact that a lot of people die of cancer, I'll consider myself lucky.

I keep getting e-mails from the Colorectal Cancer Support Group.  I only went to one meeting.  I didn't find it very helpful or cheery.  I was by far the youngest person there.  I may attend in the future but I think I'd rather go to Photography Club instead.  Or rewatch all the Rocky movies.  The obituaries from this Support Group have been flying in regularly and the one last week was for a 47 year old Colorectal patient.  Yikes.  I didn't meet any of the people who have passed away but it's a rip-off to bite the dust well before your time.  Lord knows I've raced motorcycles enough (eleven years) to make everyone around me think that I'll meet my maker at warp speed on the racetrack but I see a cancer recurrence as the big risk.  Plus, I've sold my racebike just last summer.  I told my wife I want to be the 2014 American Motorcross Champion.  She told me that as soon as I can beat one of those 12 year olds in a foot race then she'll buy me a dirt bike.  Hmm, so there's hope...

Ahh, the Orleans Sinkhole.  I have to document this...

On Sept 5th, 2012 a hole appeared in Highway 174 eastbound that feeds Orleans.  It swallowed this car and shut down the entire eastbound highway until Monday, Sept 17th.  That's the main artery that feeds Orleans.  When I was twelve, my buddy Mike and I walked about 2 kms inside the trunk sewer line that swallowed this car as we slithered behind the outlet grating at the Ottawa River.  I was tempted to return and liberate the battery and tires from this car since they were removing the car in pieces.  Mike now lives six doors down from me but I figured it would be no fun as adults and I'd probably catch scurvy in the sewer or we'd both get stuck trying to squeeze behind the grating as portly grown men and die a very undignified death.

Halfway Through Chemo 6 of 8

Okay, technically, I'm not halfway through until I take my pills after supper tonight but I'm really in countdown mode.  Only 2.5 chemo sessions left and I hope this wraps up by the end of October.

So far, I haven't had any bad side effects on this lowered dosage.  The fingertips on my left hand are still numb but I'm still hopeful the feeling will return a few months after I'm done my chemo sessions.  I also have the usual dry skin, my hair is continuing to fall out and I am fatigued with occasional dizziness.  Last night I had a pretty serious bout of diarrhea but I realize it had been at least two weeks since that happened.  My painful feet side effects haven't popped up until about Day 10 of my 14 day sessions so since I'm only at Day 7 right now, I can't really celebrate about not having debilitating side effects yet.

I went for a bicycle ride a few days ago and pedalled 20 kms.  I felt much better than I had a few weeks earlier when I did the same route but nearly passed out at the 9 km mark.  This was good.  I would go for another ride soon but I'm keeping my leg elevated and rested as much as possible due to a little mishap yesterday.

I don't know what to say about this.  We had a nice relaxing Labour Day weekend at home.  The kids and I pedalled the 1.5 kms to see my parents and as  I was standing beside my bicycle waiting to cross the only road on the route with the kids, I lost my balance and fell on my bicycle.  Yep.  I was standing and I fell.  My front bicycle sprocket chewed up the back of my leg pretty badly.  I have four ugly gashes and one is about half a centimetre deep.  It's pretty hideous.  Thankfully, my mom is a nurse and we were nearly at their house.  She'll now see me every day to change my dressing.

Danger is everywhere!!

What else do you do when you're not in school?  Do some Barbie Waterboarding, of course.

Progress is Underway!!!

Okay, tomorrow I start Chemo 6 of 8.  I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Today I saw my chemo doctor and she confirmed two good things: that I had finished Chemo 5 even though I still had five days of pills left AND that my dose would now be reduced from 4,000 mg daily to 3,000 mg.  That's three pills at breakfast and three at supper instead of four pills each.  I'm confident that there will be no side effects with the dosage now reduced another 25%.

First day of school today for both Kate and Maggie.

And if there are side effects, I'll just grin and bear it because I want this all to end.

When I got home, I pencilled in on the calendar when my chemo will end and, barring any schedule interruptions, it will be over October 23rd.  My family doctor has told me he wants to give me booster shots about a month after chemo is over.  This might have me back at work in early December.  I would love that.  As odd as it sounds, I want to return to a normal lifestyle and going back to work is part of that.  I've been off work since January and, although it's always been a dream of mine to take a year off work, doing it when you don't have your health really sucks.  Plus, not working really makes a financial dent.

Another Setback

I had another setback on Friday. 

But first, Thursday was the end of our cottage vacation and it was great.  Unfortunately, I started getting sick on Thursday and my feet were killing me from the chemo.  By the time we got home Thursday evening, I had to go straight to bed and I left Erinn to unpack the car and put the kids to bed.  It was painful even to walk into the house.

I got a really bad sore throat at the cottage from our 5 year old and my fever hit 99 F.  I called my chemo doctor the next day to say my feet were on fire and I had to stop taking the chemo pills.  The nurse called back and agreed that I need to take 7 days of rest from the pills.  By the way, I have a fever of 99 F and my throat is sore.  I was hoping to spend the day in bed.

"Get to the hospital."
"Can't I just rest in bed?  I'm sure I'll be better tomorrow."
"You might die."
"Okay, you've got my attention."

Boy, let me tell you, you don't wait in Emergency at all when you have a Cancer Gold Card.  It's like Elite status with Air Canada but better because you not only get immediate service but you get a private room complete with a double glass door airlock system.  And a gorgeous blonde nurse.  She took blood from both my arms.  I didn't mind.

After the nurse was done my saint of a gorgeous wife showed up.  And she truly deserves saint status as I talked her into parking the car for free about a 15 minute walk away from where we were.  For the record, she also dropped me off at the door AND moved the car twice during our six hour stay.  What a saint!

They sent me home with antibiotics, likely as a precaution.  The antibiotics have a note saying one of the side effects is they may cause diarrhea.  I'd like to rewrite that to "They will cause you to shit your brains out!!!"

My fever subsided the next day and my coughing is almost gone.  This is another setback on the chemo schedule.  With five more days I would have completed Chemo 5 out of 8 but now it'll be another week and a half before I'm done Chemo 5.

Summer Vacation

This is our summer holidays.  We had a gap of no medical appointments or other obligations so we went to the cottage for nine interrupted days of relaxation.  I left two days earlier than Erinn hours after my chemo doctor appointment so I took the kids and my mom came up with our niece and nephew the next day.  It was great playtime for all four kids.

Ironically, we've been experiencing drought conditions in the Ottawa Valley and we've had about 80 days of no rain.  Brown front lawns in my neighbourhood have only been overshadowed by the dying crops the farmers are experiencing.  It's all doom and gloom as crops are failing and prices are sky rocketing.  Including the price of gasoline which floats around $1.25 per litre.  That'll be funny to read in a few years where, heaven forbid, we may actually be paying what Europeans are paying for gas which is closer to $2 per litre.

Oh, yes, the irony is that we got rained out at the cottage.  We're back in town to get a break from being indoors at the cottage for six days in a row of rain.  I'd say the drought is officially over in this part of the world.

This one sunny day is when all the fun happened.

My hands are often pins and needles from the chemo and whenever I use them for opening jars, putting on my clothes or attaching my wristwatch, my fingers go numb.  The more intensely I use my fingers, the quicker they go numb.  My feet aren't doing much better as I'm walking around barefoot in the summer and I like to be on carpet or they go numb.



This blue heron got the hell out of Dodge only a few hours before the rain started for six days straight.  We went back home on the third day of rain.  We'll go back tomorrow to finish our vacation, rain or shine!



I rode a bicycle a couple of times.  That was good progress.  Before we went to the cottage, I went for a 20 km ride and my ass didn't really complain.  Just my heart.  Man, I'm outta shape!  Of course, I realize the chemo knocks the life out of me but I'll have to do this more often to get my conditioning back up.  This was far better than my 18 km ride the week before where I pretty much passed out at the side of the bicycle path at 9 kms and rode home the same 9 kms at a much slower pace.

It felt good to exercise.  It's my first exercise since I got the life sucked out of me at my April surgery.  I'll do more of it in the future.