What I Learned as a Cancer Caregiver
by Cameron Von St. James
In 2005, I was thrilled to become a father for the first time. Lily was the light of our lives, and my wife, Heather, and I, were enjoying the challenges of being new parents. However, our world was shattered on November 21, 2005. I will never forget how it felt to learn that Heather had malignant pleural mesothelioma, a rare and extremely deadly form of cancer. Suddenly, instead of worrying about what to buy Lily for her first Christmas, we were worried about saving Heather's life.
Heather's world was shattered by her diagnosis, and my life changed completely as I became a caregiver for the first time. The doctor laid out several treatment options, but Heather was too shocked and terrified to answer. I knew that she needed the best care possible if she were to have any chance of beating this terrible cancer. Therefore, I told the doctor that we would seek treatment with a renowned mesothelioma specialist in Boston. Thus began our long and difficult journey to eradicate cancer from our lives.
I was not prepared to become a caregiver to my wife. I loved her and wanted to support her, but the entire experience was overwhelming. I had to work to support us, while also providing constant care for both Heather and Lily. The amount of responsibility on my plate was overwhelming, and I quickly began to crumble under the pressure of it all.
In 2005, I was thrilled to become a father for the first time. Lily was the light of our lives, and my wife, Heather, and I, were enjoying the challenges of being new parents. However, our world was shattered on November 21, 2005. I will never forget how it felt to learn that Heather had malignant pleural mesothelioma, a rare and extremely deadly form of cancer. Suddenly, instead of worrying about what to buy Lily for her first Christmas, we were worried about saving Heather's life.
Heather's world was shattered by her diagnosis, and my life changed completely as I became a caregiver for the first time. The doctor laid out several treatment options, but Heather was too shocked and terrified to answer. I knew that she needed the best care possible if she were to have any chance of beating this terrible cancer. Therefore, I told the doctor that we would seek treatment with a renowned mesothelioma specialist in Boston. Thus began our long and difficult journey to eradicate cancer from our lives.
I was not prepared to become a caregiver to my wife. I loved her and wanted to support her, but the entire experience was overwhelming. I had to work to support us, while also providing constant care for both Heather and Lily. The amount of responsibility on my plate was overwhelming, and I quickly began to crumble under the pressure of it all.
If I could share something with other caregivers, I would emphasize the importance of learning to ask for help. I broke down numerous times because of the weight of my responsibilities. Thankfully, there were several people that stepped up to help in any way possible. I had to learn to rely on these people for help, and I also had to learn that I could not be strong all of the time. I did not want to break down around Heather, but I needed to be able to decompress and express my emotions at other times. Our loving and generous community gave me the help that I needed, and allowed us to make it through.
It has now been seven years since Heather’s mesothelioma diagnosis, and I am thankful to report that she is cancer free today. Cancer changed all of our lives, but not all of the changes were bad. We each grew and learned about each other and ourselves in the process. Heather and I are blessed to be able to share our message of help and support to other cancer patients and caregivers. We hope that by sharing our experiences, we can help them in their own journeys to beat cancer.
 |
| And we keep moving on... |
