Nearing the End

I'm into my week off between pills.  On Wednesday, I'll start my last round of chemo pills.  This lowered dose got off to a good start.  I felt okay on Chemo 6 but the day after Chemo 6 ended I started feeling side effects.  I couldn't walk due to chemo pain in my feet.

And, oddly enough, I had bad effects near the end of my 14 days of pills on Chemo 7.  In fact, it continued for a few days after I stopped the chemo.  We had a great fall weekend at the cottage and I winterized it but the pain in my feet was so bad on the Sunday that I had to, once again, watch Erinn do all the cleaning and packing up while I lounged on the couch with my feet elevated.  I was okay to drive home but I couldn't walk or stand up once home so Erinn unpacked the car and put the kids to bed while I watched TV.  Hmm...maybe a sign of our life to come.  Except for the blazing pain in my feet, I could live with it.  Maybe I'll be faking it in the months and years ahead.

So, on Wednesday I see two doctors and I also have a Back to Work plan to get their approval on.  Funny, I haven't been harassed by my disability agent.  In fact, quite the opposite.  She ignores me.  I have called her about nine times in the last two weeks and I left about six messages for her to call me back.  By message three I just became verbose and spelled out my whole story since May about chemo problems and in subsequent messages I outlined when I want to go back to work and how long the transition to full time should be.  She finally e-mailed me the plan a few days ago.  I shouldn't be surprised.  She's only called me twice since January and I've left her about fifteen voicemails that she never responds to.  But now I finally have her e-mail address.  She still hasn't replied to my written questions but whatever.  Life will go on.  I guess I'm not the taxi driver with a sore neck on disability. 

Last night I was up till 4am with diarrhea.  Again.  I feel hung over this morning due to the lack of sleep.  It usually happens about once a week because of the chemo.  Last night there wasn't so much pain but usually when it happens, such as last week when I was sleeping peacefully, I get jarred awake by a searing, burning pain on my stomach.  Yes, ON my stomach.  Diarrhea often burns my skin so as it exits through my stoma I get an acid burn and it hurts like a motherf$#@&r.  I know diarrhea will be pretty rare once I'm done chemo but for now it's been pretty much every week since I started in May.  Half a year of fun.

What do you do when the KLR won't run?  Take the VFR.  I had planned on riding the K&P Trail near Calabogie all summer with a friend but my health sucked.  My feet were still in bad pain from the chemo but I was determined to go.  I took two Tylenols and headed out.  It actually ended up being a great day and sitting on the bike was fine.  Getting up and walking around hurt.  See Mom, motorcycles can be good for you!

Gerry demonstrates how to ride this without gravel tires or chemo pills.

Gerry and I did the K&P Trail just a few days ago.  As we left Ottawa, we stopped in to see a friend.  This shop owner used to sponsor me for motorcycle road racing for many years but I haven't seen him at all in my cancer year.  His healthy wife had a stroke.  They're both my age.  About 40 years old and fit with two young kids.  She just happened to walk out of the house when we were chatting with her husband.  It was great to see them both and she's on the mend.  She just got her driver's license back a few weeks ago.    Strange how things can show up and throw curve balls into life.